[brassy detective music] ♪
>. Hit it. ♪hey-oh, yah, hah ♪ oh, hey-oh yeah. hey-oh yeah, oh-hey-oh ♪
[camera shutter clicks]
>. Cute and cuddly, boys.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………
>. Feed the penguins. Two bucks. [sighs] Animals.
>. Now, Skipper?
>. Not yet, Private. You got to play hard to get, make ‘em beg for it.
>. Over here.
>. Hey, penguins.
>. Over here.
>. Entertain me.
>. I’m beginning to sense restless hostility from the crowd.
>. We’re going to lose them.
>. Okay, commence adorable high jinks. Go. Go. Go.
>. Executing waddle with odd but somehow strangely endearing body shakes.
[grunting]
all>. Aw.
>. Pretending to lose my balance and face-plant into the pool now.
all>. Aw.
>. I call belly slide duty. Let’s make it extra cute and cuddly today, boys.
all>. Aw. Aw. Aw. Aw. Aw. Aw.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………
>. [laughs]
>. And yeah. Perfect. Look how beauteous you are. Oh, and this apple here is looking pretty good too. Mm. Mm. No.
[cheers and applause ]
>. [spits] Not feeding the penguins time. How am I supposed to enjoy my breakfast with all of savage, fishy -smelling fishes assaulting my kingly senses? Maurice? The royal nose clamp.
>. [cooing]
>. There. That should do the trick.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
all>. Aw.
>. Kowalski, irresistibility reading.
>. The crowd’s appetite for our enamoring antics is reaching optional levels.
>. Beautiful. Hit them with tail wags. No mercy.
all>. Aw!
>. And cease tail wagging. Always leave them wanting more.
[all cheering]
>. We did it.
>. Fish are incoming. Three, two…
>. Wake up your taste buds, boys.
>. What are these?
>. So how’s the catch of the day, gentlemen?
>. Looks fishy, Skipper.
>. Fish are supposed to look fishy.
>. No, I think he means “Fishy”.
>. Good fishy ore bad fishy?
>. Definitely bad fishy, sir.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
>. [sniffing] That’s strange. There’s no fish stank. Nothing.
>. [sniffing] You are right. The fishy-smelling fish fumes are no more. We shall wildly celebrate, and I am talking about more than usual, you know what I mean?
>. But if it’s not fish, what is it?
>. It appears to be some kind of molecular soy composite, Skipper.
>. We’re supposed to eat this chow?
>.[grunting] Hi. Oh.
>. We’re penguins, man. We need fish, real fish.
>. Technically, these cakes do meet our nutritional requirements.
>.[sniffing] Okay, boys, let’s give it a shot.
>. Ding!
>. Ding!
>. Ding!
>. Boing!
[all gagging]
>. Maybe it’s more of an acquired taste, Skipper.
>. Right. We go again…
[all gagging]
>. And again.
[all gagging]
>. And again.
[all gagging]
>. And again.
[all gagging]
>. Abort. Abort.
[all moaning]
>.This has got to be some sort of freak experiment, a one-time thing, right?
>. [retching]
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
>. We’re charming.
>. We’re lovable.
all>. Aw.
>. We’re hungry… for real fish.
>. [gagging]
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
>. Aw, three days, and I loving this life, baby. No fish fumes fuming from the fish eaters. [laughs]
[lips smack] [gagging] You see, Mort, I am so happy, I forgot for a second how disgusting you are. Look at you.
>. Hi.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
>. Fish, fish. [gasps] Fish.
>. 67 hours without the succulent, salty tang of the sea. He can’t take much more.
>. Neither can I.
>. What I’m about to show you is highly classified. Slide, Private.
>. Sorry, Skipper. I don’t know how the holiday snaps got in there.
[smack!]
>. Oh.
[smack!]
>. Ooh.
[smack!]
>. Oh.
[smack!]
>. Ooh.
[smack!]
>. Oh.
[smack!]
>. Ooh.
>. This, gentlemen, is our target. One standard rest…
[smack! Smack!]
>. Ooh.
>. One standard restaurant-grade fish truck. Where are we on cracking this code, Kowalski?
>. Oh, it’s fiendishly clever inscription, Skipper.
>. Well, I’ve secured the services of a specialist for aerial surveillance.
>. I get a cut of the haul, right?
>. You’ll get your fair share, Pinky.
>. Mm-mmm.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
>. No, never. We cannot allow them to return the ferocious fishing fishy smell to my kingdom. Gather around. Now, we need to be doing exactly what I say, starting with paying strict attention to me talking right now. Right now. Now.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
>. This is winter one. I am up and operational. Target is on the move. Repeat, target is on the move.
>. Roger that, winter one. We are southbound, approaching rendezvous.
[tires squealing]
[static buzzing]
>. Target turning east onto 23rd street. Eye in the sky is a go. 34 seconds until fish.
[tires squealing ]
>. Prairie dog blue and prairie dog red are in position.
>. Roger, t-minus five, four, three, two, one. Stopping target.
[light buzzing] [tires squealing]
>. You are go for insertion. Go fish. [sputtering] [screams] [engine revs] [torch crackling]
>. Private, I want confirmation that there is food on that vehicle.
[animals growing]
>. That’s affirmative, but it looks like the food is us.
[dogs baking]
>. Ah, Skipper! Help!
>. Hang on, prairie dogs. Kowalski, keep your eyes on the target.
[tires squealing]
>. I am locked on, Skipper.
[dogs barking]
>. [moaning]
>. This is wiener one. Are we aborting mission? Repeat, are we aborting mission?
>. Gentlemen, we are penguins. We have a natural need to feed on the fruits of the sea. That’s the way momma nature built us. Now, who wants to spit in the eye of momma nature? That’s what I thought. We are go for operation.
>. Target is turning right onto Broadway. I am sending it to extraction point.
[light buzzing] [tires screeching]
>. Locked.
>. Uh-uh. [gagging] [grunting]
>. We’re in.
>. [gurgles]
[lights crackling] [torch crackling]
>. Job well done, boys.
>. We have enough fish to last forever.
>. Fish. Fish. ♪Fish♪
>. One small problem. We got not allow for you to return to eating the savage-smelling, four-fuming fishy fish. [snaps]
>. [grunting]
>. So I planned to come up with my own carefully planned plan, to plan to steal the stinkies ourselves. And my plan all went accordingly … to plan. So you see, we have he crates with the real fish while yours are filled with only the phony fish cakes, so ha-ha-ha-ing.
>. [grunting]
>. Oh, nice try, ring tail, but I know how much you hate the smell of fish. I was expecting a move like that, which is why I switched the crates before you even got back to the zoo.
>. Ah, but I was expecting you to be expecting that, so we switcheroo-ed the crates on the pier before the fish got loading onto the truck.
>. It doesn’t really matter, because I just switched these crates during your last flashback.
>. Well, I switched them while you were saying that you switched them.
>. And I switched them the last time you blinked.
>. Yes, but I pretended to switch them, so you actually switched them back.
>. Oh, but I double switched.
>. And I triple switched.
>. I million zillion switched.
>. I switched them to infinity, so you have to shut up a little bit.
>. Ah, but what you didn’t see coming is that I am actually you.
all>. [gasps]
>. Okay, nicely played, but if you are me, then by processing of elimination, I must be you.
>. Maybe. Maybe. But if you are me, and I am you, then we must both be…
>. Enough. Can we just crack these babies open and get this over with already, please?
>.[grunting]
>. Fish cakes? They’re all the phony fish cakes.
>. Aha, so I am the winner. Right? I think so. Eh…can we get an official ruling on this so I can better enjoy my gloating?
>. But where are the real fish?
>. I have a theory.
>. Huh?
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
>. Suckers.
