Officer>. Ok. I won’t tell you.
Brot>. I’m not messing around, Clausen.
OFC. Clausen.>. Back off, Monroe!
Jesse>. Hey, hey! What the hell’s going on here?! Brot, you seem to be at the middle of all this confusion. What’s going on?
Brot>. Nothing, chief. I got it under control. Don’t worry about it.
Jesse>. What are these papers?
Brot>. Nothing.
Jesse>. Nothing? I ain’t seen “nothing” all day. Let’s have a look.
…………………………
Randy>. I like that one.
Amanda>. Oh, that’s a bad one.
Randy>. No, it’s not.
Amanda>. Yes, it is. We need to throw that one away. Oh, I really like that one with me in the mirror.
Madison>. These natural-lighting shots of Natalia are beautiful, too. Personality aside, Ciro is an incredible photographer.
Randy>. Yeah, and fast, which is a lifesaver, considering that we have the deadline for the launch coming up.
Jake>. Hello, ladies! Especially you. how are you, beautiful?
Amanda>. Hi! Well, hello. Wow. This swing shift of yours has really given you a lot more free day time to spend with me.
Jake>. You ain’t liking that?
Amanda>. Hmm. I’m loving that. I’m just afraid that these hardworking ladies are gonna be jelous.
Jake>. As they should be.
Amanda>. [laughs]
Randy>. Um, hello! Can you guys get a room?
Jake>. That’s a very good idea: we’ll get a room. First, I have a surprise to show you, and it’s downstairs.
Amanda>. Ooh, I love going downstairs,
Jake>. Excuse us,ladies.
Amanda>. and I love surprises. Bye, guys.
………………………….
Demon>. [video game plays]
Colby>. Hey. I didn’t expect to find you here.
Damon>. Yeah, they discharged me from the hospital. You looking for Tad?
Colby>. No. I’m actually looking for Kristal.
Demon>. Either way, they took the kids out for breakfast.
Colby>. I heard about your court hearing. That’s good news, right?
Damon>. Yeah, whatever. What’s really cool is how good I am at killing mutant alien zombies with this cast on. Hmm.
Colby>. You don’t seem all that excited about your real-life “get out of jail free” card.
Damon>. It’s no biggie. You don’t seem so psyched about your life either. What’s that about?
Colby>. Life, uh, sucks.
………………………………….
Annie>. Ah. Ahem. Morning! Beautiful day outside, isn’t it? Don’t you just love springtime: new life, new promises.
J.R.>. Shut up.
Annie>. Oh, now. No bad sportsmanship. You just have to accept the fact that I outplayed you fair and square.
J.R.>. Fair and square?
Annie>. Mm-hmm. Well, as fair as us chandlers get.
J.R.>. It’s not over yet.
Annie>. We’ll see about that. Adam’s gone. He’s flown off to who knows where for who knows how long for an indefinite retreat with… you guessed it… His soul mate Brooke. Huh! Didn’t see that one coming, huh? No!
J.R.>. I want you out of this house.
Annie>. Hmm. Yeah. It’s too bad you can’t always get what you want. And unless you want Marissa to know the real reason Adam flew the coop, I would lose that bad attitude of yours. Ohh.
We wouldn’t want little miss goody two-shoes to get suspicious, now, would we?
[door closes]
Liza>. This is for you, you’ve been served. It’s from Adam.
Annie>. Served?
Liza>. It’s a divorce petition, and I would advise you to read it now because he wants this done quickly.
……………………………
Annie>. Wait, you’re working for Adam now?
Liza>. Mm-hmm.
Annie>. Last time I checked, you were my lawyer.
Liza>. We don’t have anything active at the moment. And besides, he does pay me better.
J.R.>. What do the papers say, just out of curiosity?
Liza>. Well, Adam is giving you an opportunity to end this below the radar and relatively painlessly out of court.
Annie>. So what does that mean?
Liza>. Well, I’m authorized to give you a very generous settlement if you don’t hire a lawyer. Now, if you do decide to retain counsel, then he will take you to court, and it won’t be very pretty for you.
J.R.>. What’s the game plan if you have to litigate?
Liza>. It’s pretty boilerplate. And need I remind you that Adam does play golf with most of the judges? But aside from that, the court does not look very favorably on a young woman who’s being sued for divorce by her older husband when the split is due to he infidelity.
Marissa>. Infidelity? Adam’s divorcing you because of infidelity?
……………………
Demon>. Well, I think everyone in town knows about my downhill life. What’s your slice about?
Colby>. My dad left town, yeah, probably for a long time. He left with his ex-wife Brooke.
Damon>. Oh, the lady we crashed into?
Colby>. Yeah.
Demon>. Oh, man. She kept me out of jail when she put in that good word for me. I owe her big. Of course, I still have to do this annoying PSA thing she set up, but that’s cool. You know, I pay my dues.
Colby>. Yeah, you know, I’m happy for him. I am, but... just…I’m gonna miss him so much. What about you? what are you so bummed about?
Demon>. I’m just ticked off my arm’s still out of commission.
Colby>. Right. You get a ticket out of jail, and you’re worried because your surgery went well and your arm’s healing well but not fast enough?
Damon>. Yeah. You know how hard it is to kill mutant alien zombies with this thing?
Colby>. What’s your real deal?
Damon>.[sighs] well, one of the reasons the judge let me stay on probation is I got diagnosed with ADHD.
Colby>. No kidding? Attention deficit. That’s great.
……………………………………….
Jake>. Close your eyes, both eyeballs.
Amanda>. OK. But this better not be embarrassing like the time you brought out the guy with the tuba.
Jake>. You loved the tuba.
Amanda>. I did, but where do you go from tuba?
[phone rings]
Amanda>. Oh, wait! I’m sorry. I have to open. I’m sorry, I have to take this.
Jake>. OK.
Amanda>. Hello? Hi. You’re gonna have to wait a few minutes because I haven’t gotten my surprise yet. OK, I’m gonna check really quick. All right, bye. I’m sorry. I have to check this really fast.I have to,I told them I would give them my opinion on my tweets this morning.
Jake>. You’re tweeting now? What are you tweeting?
Amanda>. I’m gonna tell Randi, you know, my favorite lipsticks and stuff, and she’s gonna tweet as if it was me.
Jake>. I got you. you think it’s a great idea, though, with the Amanda fan out there?
Amanda>. Well, I mean, you and Natalia fixed all that. You gave me a new E-mail and everything.
Jake>. Yeah, yeah. I’m just saying that, you know, with tweeting you got to follow up with things, and that’s just gonna give more fuel for this weirdo to follow you.
Amanda>. I really don’t think it makes a difference. It was Erica’s idea and…
Jake>. What? What is it?
Amanda>. Look.
………………………………….
Jesse>. Somebody better answer me right now! Who did this?!
OFC. Clausen>. someone was just playing a joke on fowler.
Jesse>. A joke? Y’all laughing? I’m not. You laughing? Clausen, this is my daughter!
OFC. Clausen>. I thought we were supposed to treat her like any other officer on the force.
Jesse>. You are supposed to treat all your fellow officers with respect! In my office, right now.
Brot>. Chief, I didn’t want you to have to deal with this, so I tried to take all the pictures down before you saw them.
Jesse>. Where did these come from?
Brot>. Natalia had them taken at a photo shoot for fusion the other day.
Jesse>. You mean she actually posed for this?
Brot>. I mean, they’re actually pretty artistic, I guess.
Jesse>. Where did you get them?
Brot>. They were taped up all around the building. Someone in the department must’ve gotten a copy and printed out a bunch of them.
Jesse>. And stuck them up where, exactly?
Brot>. The locker room, the ready room. I mean, chief, here. Look at this! Look!
Jesse>. Ohh. Did you get them all?
Brot>. I think so, but I didn’t go into the women's bathroom yet. So I was planning on…
Natalia>. Whoever did this , I want them fired! And them I want them put in a locked room with me!
Jesse>. And right after that, I can fire you!
………………………………
Jake>.All I get from this is that you’re upset that you lost your wedding ring. And what I’m really getting out of this is that you’re a happily married woman. That’s not so bad.
Amanda>. It was never supposed to be about stuff like this. It was supposed to be all about fusion: how much I love the fusion shoot, the fusion products that I love. It was never supposed to get personal.
Jake>. It’ll be all right. It’ll be OK.
Amanda>. When I told Randi that I lost my ring, I didn’t intend for the whole world to know about it.
Jake>. Ok, you know what we’ll do? We’ll talk to Randi. I’m sure she’ll understand, then she’ll stop the tweets altogether. Ok?
Amanda>. Promise?
Jake>. Yes. It’s gonna be fine. Now, I know you’re upset about your wedding ring. So…
Amanda>. [gasps] No. you got me a new ring.
Jake>. I got you a new ring.
Amanda>. [giggles]
……………………………
Demon>. I have a disease that needs an abbreviation and a shrink that I have to talk to about things I’d love to forget.
Colby>. First of all, it’s not a disease. Secondly, it’s great because it’s been diagnosed. It’s a problem with a solution that you can fix.
Demon>. And then what? It’s still the same old me screwing up every hour on the hour.
Colby>. No, no. I mean, your ADHD is probably why you had trouble in school and focusing on jobs and why you got so frustrated and all that stuff.
Demon>. I don’t know.
Colby>. So what have they done to help you so far?
Damon>. Well, there’s these pills I’m supposed to start taking and a counseling session scheduled for this morning at the hospital.
Colby>. Well, that’s probably what got you out of jail. And trust me, these… this is gonna change everything.
Demon>. You know what? Every time I hear “ADHD,” I keep hoping that they’re talking about the band AC/DC. They rock.
Colby>. Oh! ok, all right, think of it this way. It’s this door that you never knew was there, and then you open it and it’s your whole future.
Demon>. Oh, whoa. Don’t get too deep. Remember my attention span. Anyway, I always thought my brain was more like a black hole where the only thing that could escape is the crazy and the stupid.
Colby>.Don't to that to yourself. You are not stupid. You follow through what the doctors tell you, and your whole life is gonna change.
Demon>. Well, it won’t hurt having you on my side.
………………………………..
Marissa>. Is this only a shock to me? You did mean that Annie had an affair with someone?
Liza>. According to Adam, yes. Now, he wants this whole thing done quick and clean for everyone involved, especially Emma. So he didn’t name the person with whom Annie is accused of committing infidelity. But it will come out if any public legal proceedings went forward, and he really hopes it’s not gonna come to that.
Marissa>. Is this true? I mean, I can’t even believe it. I thought you loved Adam so much. Did you know anything about this?
Scott>. It’s me. I’m the one to blame.
………………………………….
Amanda>. I don’t know what to say.
Jake>. May I ...just say that “I do.”
Amanda>. I do. I do, I do, I do.
Jake>. You do? Are you sure?
Amanda>. Mm-hmm. Baby, I’m so sorry that I lost the original. I’m sorry. Any more of that and I’m not gonna be able to stop.
Jake>. Who said anything about stopping?
Amanda>. I have to go back to work.
Jake>. I thought maybe we could go home and have a quick snack. That’s what I thought. What do you think?
Amanda>. Uh-uh. I’m hungrier than that. Let’s go.
……………………………….
Demon>. I guess you’re just one of those “glass half full” people.
Colby>. Right. Half full of what? You know, I see a standup guy with as much potential as you. but you probably don’t see that yet. It’s probably too soon for the pills to take any effect.
Demon>. I haven’t exactly taken any yet. I was supposed to start yesterday, but, you know, I’ve been busy.
Colby>. Damon, you’re never gonna find out if these meds work if you don’t even try.
Damon>. I will. I will. I will.
Colby>. You know, sometimes the journey begins with one simple pill.
Damon>. You are just, like, full of wise saying today, aren’t you?
Colby>. Well, I am a very wise woman.
Damon>. Got any more wisdom for me?
Colby>. Yes, I do. Ok, you ready?
Damon>. Mm-hmm.
Colby>. Never teach a pig to sing.
Damon>. Yeah…waste your time and irritates the pig. [snorts]
Colby>. Ok…ok, next step. Ok, how are you getting to your appointment?
Demon>. I don’t know. Bus, I guess.
Colby>. No, no, no, I’ll drive you. come on, let’s go.
Demon>. Oh…ohh.
Colby>. Damon, are you ok?
Damon>. Oh, that pill made me feel really strange.
Colby>. Damon…
Damon>. [coughs] I need to…I need to eat… I need to eat brains! Brains! Aah!
…………………………….
Jesse>. What the hell were you thinking?
Natalia>. What was I thinking? What about what was the cop thinking when he posted my stuff all over the station?
Jesse>. Kind of more into what the hell was going on in your mind at the moment!
Natalia>. Fine. Let’s go back a few weeks, shall we? I had no interest in going undercover as a model. That was all your idea, chief.
Jesse>. There is a huge difference between undercover and naked! On top of that, the case was closed weeks ago!
Natalia>. Well, maybe I happen to enjoy it. And it’s paid off a couple of bills, so now I happen to like it even more. Back to the point, what are you gonna do about the guy who posted these up all over the building?
Jesse>. I’d like to crack that guy’s head wide open, but we both know I can’t do that, don’t we? Natalia, right now I got Brot out there trying to get answers for me. My question to you is gonna impact your job here?
Natalia>. No, no, no, no. I checked with a layer before I did this, and he said as long as I was in uniform…
Jesse>. You weren’t in anything at all!
Natalia>. As long as I wasn’t in uniform, I can’t be fired! Ok, the department has no say in what I do in my spare time.
Jesse>. Maybe not legally, but believe me, people are gonna have a lot to say about this.
Natalia>. Just admit it. You hate the idea of your little girl showing the whole world that she’s a woman.
Jesse>. You know what idea I hate, is the fact my little girl is showing the whole world all her stuff!
Natalia>. Oh, hello, chief Hubbard! This is 2010!
Jesse>. Like it or not, your father is the chief of police, and pulling a stunt like this does not reflect on this office in a good light. It does not reflect on me in a good light, you, or your entire family! Natalia, it was hard enough dealing with the fact that you wanted to become a cop. But now this…a naked cop?!
Natalia>. Come on, dad.
Jesse>. Oh, don’t “come on, dad” me. You want to get ahead in this…I’m your boss here. You hear me? And in this office, your boss is telling you that decisions like this can cost you your career.
Natalia>. Ok. Boss.
Jesse>. Do you have any idea how many memos I get from the mayor’s office daily about making sure everybody here acts in a manner befitting a police officer?
Natalia>. The mayor is not gonna care!
Jesse>. Mayor’s not gonna know about it.
Natalia>. What are you doing? What are you doing?
Jesse>. I’m calling Greenlee. She’s gonna pull these before they end up in some…
Natalia>. No, dad, you can’t do that!
Angie>. Hey, sweetie. You forgot your lunch this morning. What’s going on with you two?
Jesse>. Want to try this on for size?
Natalia>. [sighs]
Angie>. Oh.
Jesse>. See that? I’m not the only one who thinks you crossed the line on this one.
Angie>. Where was this taken?
Jesse>. Mm-hmm.
Natalia>. Ata a photo shoot I did for fusion.
Angie>. Hmm. It is absolutely gorgeous.
…………………………
Scott>. Adam had seen suspicious fo a while. He was working himself into state over it, keeping a pretty close eye on me. Then he came to the conclusion I was having an affair with his wife.
Marissa>. Well, were you?
Scott>. No.
Marissa>. Then why would he think something like that?
Scott>. He found a video recording of the two of us kissing, and that was the beginning and the end of it. Kissing is as far as it went.
Marissa>. Well, why didn’t Adam believe that?
Scott>. I don’t know. Maybe he was just looking for an excuse.
Marissa>. An excuse for what?
Scott>. His growing feeling for Brooke maybe. Maybe he secretly wanted things with Annie to fall apart on their own. Whatever. He and I had it out just before he left. He accused me of seducing Annie, and he wouldn’t listen to my apologies or the truth. End of story.
Marissa>. Well, I’m sorry for everyone involved. But I can’t really wrap my head around this right now. I…excuse me.
Liza>. Well, I will be available when you’re ready to discuss the settlement. And take it from me, somebody who’s been on the receiving end of Adam’s wrath, I would take his offer. It’s really the best you’re gonna get.
J.R>. well, I suppose I owe you for that.
Scott>. Oh, you thing I did it for you? you stupid bastard.
………………………………….
Jesse>. There is a very thin line between artistically done and pornography!
…………………………………..
J.R>. So tell me. What the hell motivated you to take the blame like that?
Scott>. I did it for Marissa, and A.J. and Emma. You two have done enough damage to the family already. No need to put them through any more hell .
Annie>. So he knows all about us? Even what happened in D.C.?
Scott>. Yes, I know. God. The only reason Marissa doesn’t suspect anything is because she’s the one adult in this house who still believes that there’s some decency left in the world.
J.R>. Do you think that I would want to hurt Marissa?
Scott>. What do ou call sleeping with your stepmother?
J.R>. You know, everything that I did, every line that I crossed, I did that for my father.
Scott>. Oh, I know why you did what you did. Adam has given you both a gift by not naming J.R. in the suit. Take Liza’s advice. Accept the deal and don’t make any more waves.
Annie>. I’ll have to see what the offer is first.
Scott>. Yeah. Yeah, you do that, Annie, ok? Fine. You see if you can save some face, if you think that’s still possible. Meanwhile, keep your hands off of each other and your mouths shut. See if you can avoid hurting Marissa and your kids.
Annie>. If this sermon is over, I have some things to do.
J.R>. whatever your reasons were, thank you. Believe me, once we get Annie out of the house…
Scott>. Save it. Annie’s not leaving this house.
………………………………..
Angie>. I’d love a nice glossy copy of this one.
Jesse>. Angela, what are you doing?
Natalia>. That’s not a problem. The problem is that some Neanderthal got a hold of these, made copies, and put them up all over the station with these idiot remarks written all over them.
Angie>. Oh, really? Well, you know, you can’t regulate stupid. But I’m sere that your father will make sure that the idiot is punished. But you are beautiful.
Jesse>. Oh, my god, she’s butt-ass naked there! For god’s sake, what are you doing?!
Angie>. Natalia, why don’t you get on back to work and let me have a talk with your daddy? What is up with you? I mean, come on. You coming down on your daughter like this instead of finding the idiot who tried to embarrass her?
Jesse>. Well, that idiot is going down, trust me. But, my god, look at this!
Angie>. She is a grown woman. Now, you need to be thankful that you are blessed with a child that has a mind, a face, and, yes, a body as beautiful as this. And, you know, actually, it’s very artistically done.
Jesse>. There is a very thin line between artistically done and pornography!
Angie>. Oh, Jesse, are you for real? I mean, there is nothing in this photo that can’t be seen on any beach every summer. You need to chill.
Jesse>. Would you chill if this was Cassandra?
Angie>. Listen, I raised Cass in New York city. She went to art school in France. And you know what? There is a portrait that was done by a young boy. If my memory serves me correctly, Cassandra was wearing less than this.
Jesse>. That is completely different.
Angie>. Oh.
Jesse>. That wasn’t public, and she is not a police officer!
Angie>. Well, you know, if you keep holding on so damn tight, this police officer might go scurrying out of town just to get away from her controlling father.
………………………………….
Colby>. You really have nothing to be nervous about.
Damon>. No, I’m not nervous. It’s just every time I’m in the hospital now, I have this urge to grab a mop and start cleaning the floor.
Colby>. Maybe you can negotiate a barter arrangement with a therapist, then.
Damon>. Oh, yeah, yeah. I’ll clean out my brain.
Colby>. This is like a whole new start for your life.
Damon>. Uh-uh.
Colby>. “uh-uh”? why not?
Damon>. See, you’re what started this new part. Anyway, thanks for the ride and the pep talk.
Colby>. Yeah. You know that offer I made a few days ago? It’s…well, it’s still open.
Damon>. What offer?
Colby>. That I would help you study, you know, and get your G.E.D.
Damon>. Right. Thanks, thanks. I appreciate that.
Colby>. Good luck.
Damon>. Thanks.
………………………..
Amanda>. Oh, will you put that down? I don’t have much time.
Jake>. No, I just want to make sure my account is working here. Check your phone.
Amanda>. Look, I get you want to be up on all my social networking, but do you have to tweet me now?
Jake>. Can we just make sure it’s working is that too much to ask? Go ahead, check it.
Jake>. Ah. Is it working? You like it. It’s working.
Amanda>. I hope you set your privacy setting, right?
Jake>. Uh, no.
Amanda>. Because this is…
Jake>. I’m not sure how to do that, but what’s the problem? All I’m doing is telling my beautiful, gorgeous, not wife what I want to do to her in 140 characters or less. That’s… want to tweet me?
Amanda>. Come here.
[music plays]
singer>. ♪hold me we’ve got some time you could let me in lately you’ve been so blind to the state I’m in I just want your pure affection baby, please please I just want your pure affection baby, please baby, please baby, baby ooh, baby, baby ♪
……………………………………..
Liza>. Hi.
Colby>. Hi.
Liza>. Hi. How you doing? Hmm?
Colby>. Uh, I’m…well. I’m ok.
Liza>. Yeah, I know, I know. With your dad leaving and all, it’s got to be hard.
Colby>. Well, if it makes him happy, I’m glad he did it. And Annie now…you know, she can’t give him a heart attack. So…
Liza>. And, actually, Adam has hired me to represent him in the divorce. That’s right. I’m going to put Annie away quickly and quickly.
Colby>. Oh. maybe you should get some tranquilizing guns, then.
Liza>. Ahem. Colby, honey, I just saw you with Damon. What are you doing?
Colby>. Well, I’m just dropping off a friend for an appointment. That’s all.
Liza>. I saw him kiss you.
Colby>. Mom, are you really following me around until you catch me doing something naughty?
Liza>. No, I’m not following you around. But when I happen to see something like that, I have to remind you not to get too involved with that boy.
Colby>. Well, mom, how about I get exactly involved as I want to get?
Liza>. I just don’t understand why you’d want to get entangled with him. He’s hovering around 3 strikes. He’s gonna end p behind bars the next time he makes a mistake, and if you don’t think he will, believe me, Colby.
Colby>. You know, mom, considering your track record, are you really the right person to be lecturing me on successful relarionshios?
………………………………..
Randi>. Hi! Welcome back. Where have you been?
Amanda>. Oh, you know, heaven and back.
Randi>. Oh. hello? You found your ring.
Amanda>. No. Jake got me a new one.
Madison>. Nice taste in jewelry.
Jake>. Thank you. around women, don’t forget.
Randi>. Her taste in men ain’t too shabby either.
Jake>. Ok, I can still hear you because I’m still in the room. So I’m gonna go and let you women do whatever it is you do.
Madison>. Oh, wait. This package came for you while you were busy.
Jake>. What is it, babe?
Amanda>. Look at the return address.
………………………………
Marissa>. Hello, Annie.
Annie>. Marissa, I just want to apologize for not being open with you about Adam’s suspicions.
Marissa>. You don’t owe me any explanations.
Annie>. I feel like I do. You’ve been very kind to me. And with my marriage ending the way that it has, I can now admit that it was not all Brooke’s fault.
Marissa>. So it’s true, then? You and Scott? I mean, I know that you kissed him.
Annie>. And that’s all we did. That is all we did, but Adam found out about that and he never really trusted me again.
Marissa>. Trust is a fragile thing. S is there anything else that you want to talk to me about?
Annie>. Nope. A just appreciate your support. And I hope you’ll forgive me for not being completely honest.
Marissa>. None of this changes what I said last night. Ok? I know that Adam may want to wash his hands of all this, but you and Emma are welcome to say for now.
……………………………………..
Scott>. Annie’s a loose cannon, J.R. no telling what she’ll do if we don’t keep an eye on her.
J.R.>. Yeah. That’s right. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. But what’s your interest in it at this point?
Scott>. I don’t want to see any more people hurt by this.
J.R.>. including Annie?
Scott>. Yeah, including Annie. Because if she sticks around, she is less likely to spin out of control. She is less likely to hurt herself and anyone else that you’ve put in the line of fire with your big plan.
J.R.>. And then when things settle down, we just ease her out of the house gently.
Scott>. You better make sure that things are good between you and Marissa before that happens.
J.R.>. What, you think she suspects the truth?
Scott>. That you’ve gone way too far to bring Annie down? Oh, yeah. That you couldn’t keep your hands off of her in the process? No, not yet.
J.R.>. This is definitely not turning out the way I saw it at all.
…………………………………………
